Potty Training While Navigating IVF: What's Working For Us
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As we start entering this new stage with our toddler, we’re also in our IVF Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) season. If you follow me on Instagram, you might have seen that we had a miscarriage in January 2026 and have had 3 canceled cycles, 1 “failed” FET (miscarriage, negative hCG test), and are currently, as I’m typing, in another cycle, not too far out from our next FET. This has also been working pretty well with my fluctuations in energy level and mental state. The canceled cycles and our most recent miscarriage with the negative hCG test after a FET, I was in a low - I was sad and didn’t want to do much, but knew I had to keep showing up. The silent, hard part of infertility while still having to navigate being a mother for the first time.
So while we’re potty training, we’re also trying to plan ahead for when I’m pregnant and then newly postpartum: where will we be on this potty training journey, and how confident can Ev be using the bathroom solo at home? We want to set all of us up for success, and in the future, set Ev up for success in preschool.
Products We’re Using:
UpAiry: Washable potty training underwear. We’ve found that these work best with us and our daughter. When we tried Pull-Ups, she wasn’t fazed when she had accidents, whereas when she’s in her UpAiry’s, she notices when she has an accident and comes to us right away.
Easy-off clothes: Avoid long pants, rompers, and anything she can’t quickly get off or is hard to manage in a public restroom. Simultaneously with potty training, we’re working on her ability to use the restroom independently. When we’re out, a parent will always accompany her, but we want her to gain confidence and the ability to take off the clothes she needs to use the bathroom without assistance.
Soft Potty Seat: We got the Bluey one from Target - it was just the one she chose at the store. She also currently enjoys watching Bluey on occasion.
Method We’re Doing:
Ev loves a good “reward” for doing something right, but she doesn’t fully grasp or see the “value” in doing the stickers-to-fill-up-a-chart method I’ve seen so many other parents use. For us, we worked our way up to: if she goes the whole day without any accidents, we go to Starbucks to get a cake pop. We started small, with us sitting on the toilet every hour. If she used the bathroom, she got a few pieces of M&Ms; if she didn’t, we would try every 30 minutes until she did, at which point she’d get a few M&Ms.
Once she got the hang of understanding that we should use the bathroom rather than going in her diaper, we then raised the stakes - she had to tell us she needed to use the bathroom and go in the toilet in order to get the M&Ms. From there, once we were on a more consistent track record, we now require the whole day to be accident free before we reward. Every time she uses the bathroom, we give praise and high-fives.
Currently, we aren’t fully potty trained. There are more good days than bad days, and more toilet trips than diaper changes - so I’d say we’re on the right track. This isn’t a fast track method, but it is what works for us right now. It also works for her grandparents since they help babysit while my husband and I are at work. It’s been 4 weeks since we started and became fully committed to getting her potty trained, and 2 weeks since her grandparents became more hands-on and actively helping.
I hope this helps!
We’ll figure it out eventually. We always do. - 💕 Krysti
